


I won't (ever) give up on you

by Echo_Delta



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Aaron lives AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death Fix, Character Study, Cute Miles Morales, Death is not redemption, Emotional, Family, Family Feels, Fix-It, Gen, Major Character Undeath, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Redemption, Say it with me: death is not redemption, Suicidal Thoughts, Trigger warning:, Villain PoV, but!, happy ending!, okay the movie handled it well but let me dream, shows up to the fandom two years late with starbucks, yeahhh this gets dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echo_Delta/pseuds/Echo_Delta
Summary: In which Aaron Davis takes a leap of faith.
Relationships: Aaron Davis & Miles Morales
Comments: 17
Kudos: 88





	I won't (ever) give up on you

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts.
> 
> Also quite a bit of language. You have been warned.
> 
> But there's a lil bit of fluff in here too.

_Miles scurried up to Aaron out of nowhere and latched onto his leg, the top of his head barely reaching his uncle’s waist. Aaron stopped walking and smiled, his heart skidding slightly like it always did when his little nephew showed affection. He bent down to the kid’s level._

_“Hey there, kiddo. What-” He stopped when he saw Miles’ face, all scrunched up and not meeting his eyes, pressed into his leg even harder now. “What’s wrong?”_

_It looked like something had scared him. Aaron’s heart went out to the poor kid. He knew what it was like. Life was scary sometimes, likely even more so as a five-year-old just starting to explore the world. At the same time, though, a wave of pride rose in him as he realized Miles had chosen to run to him over anyone else._

_“Come here, it’s okay.” He softened his voice into the one he always used when Miles was upset, untangling the kid from his leg and picking him up. He was getting a little too big to be carried, but Aaron could still lift him easily. Miles threw his tiny arms around Aaron’s neck and held on tight. He still didn’t say what had made him so afraid._

_“It’s okay, Miles,” Aaron repeated. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”_

_He hadn’t planned to say that; the words just came, solid with a sudden conviction that surprised even him, but there was no doubt in his mind that they were true._

_Miles finally looked at him then, a bit of tension lingering around his huge eyes, as if wordlessly asking Aaron if he meant it._

_He hugged his nephew tighter, holding him close like he wouldn’t ever let go._

_“I promise.”_

***

  
  


_“Miles?”_

It was like a blindfold had been ripped from his eyes without warning, all his thoughts cutting to static. He let the night vision he hadn’t bothered to turn off from the night before flicker away as one last desperate check that maybe this wasn’t real.

_No._

The shock, the _wrongness_ of it all made him freeze in place, forcing him to watch as this nightmare unfolded in front of him and all he could think was that he wanted to _wake up._

It was his nephew, but those eyes weren’t the ones he knew.

They were halfway between widening in horror and squeezing shut in anticipation, every shred of trust torn away.

Miles was fighting just to breathe, hands clinging to Aaron’s wrist, wordlessly begging him to let go, but paired with the resignation that whatever happened next was out of his control.

There was something else, though, something that took Aaron a second to place. When he did, it made him feel even worse.

Hope. The poor kid still had hope.

Hope that once he revealed his identity to the masked monster who had finally caught him, he would have a chance at survival.

Hope that his uncle wouldn’t kill him in cold blood.

_“Uncle Aaron-”_ Miles whispered, barely getting the words out. That voice tore through Aaron deeper than any blade or bullet ever could.

But his idiot mind was still just screaming _no,_ drowning out anything else. He couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything to fix this. He could only watch as the hope in Miles’ eyes faded.

_“Please,_ Uncle Aaron,” Miles whimpered.

Panicking.

Mistaking Aaron’s brainless hesitation for _indecision._

_No, no, no._

_Please don’t let this be real._

_This isn’t real this isn’t happening you’re better than this_ please-

A sudden voice in his ear dragged him back to reality.

“Prowler, what are you waiting for? Finish it.”

The voice was so damn casual, thoughtless even, but Aaron knew there was much more threat behind it than Fisk let on.

_Shit._

He hauled a breath in and out, pushing down the fear taking over his mind, forcing himself to breathe and _think._

He wanted to hit himself.

_You’re stronger than this. Snap out of it, you coward._

He focused hard, towing all of his energy into searching for the calm determination that was usually his default. Suddenly he found it, and it was almost easy to slip back into routine, though in the back of his mind he knew it was only temporary.

_Get Miles to safety._

While he was distracted, Miles had shrunk inward, making himself look as small as possible. His eyes squinted almost closed in a perpetual wince, just _waiting._ A terrified, helpless child.

_I did this._

Aaron steeled himself. _Don’t think about that._

The mask was still off. That needed to change.

There wasn’t time to explain. He reached over as gently as he could, trying not to see Miles cowering away from his touch.

_He didn’t actually think-?_

_Get him to safety,_ he ordered himself. _Worry about the rest later._

He let go of Miles, then threw an arm around him before he could fall. He shoved everything but _escape_ out of his mind, as far away from him as he could until he could get them out of here. Then he jumped off the roof, carrying Miles with him and hitting the ground running.

He scanned the area, looking for an escape route, cover, anything. 

Nothing. The houses helped, of course, but anyone trying to find him would have a pretty easy job.

He heard a crash and a shout, sounds of fighting that were way too close. He diverted his path to the side. It didn’t matter who it was. Everyone here was against him now.

Even as he put a few houses between him and whatever Fisk had planned, he realized he wouldn’t be fast enough. 

Broad daylight and a passenger were a risky combination. If it came down to it, of course he would stand and fight, but he wouldn’t have much of a chance.

His unsettled thoughts were cut off when he noticed the spider in the red and blue suit sprinting towards them. Aaron recognized him. It was the one who had tried to protect Miles before.

_‘Leave the kid alone.’_ If only he’d listened.

He skidded to a halt, pushing back the tangled mess of feelings clouding his mind. Though he didn’t want to admit it, he knew it would be better this way. Miles would be better off without someone like him trying to stick around.

The spider stopped a few feet away, web-shooter trained on him but hesitating.

Their eyes met.

_Take care of him,_ Aaron couldn’t bring himself to say.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he set Miles down and vaulted away.

He didn’t look back.

  
  


***

  
  


He crouched on top of a building somewhere in Brooklyn, the wind and his thoughts tearing at him. Strange to think that only hours before he’d been running around the city like he owned it, every patch of colored light inviting, a door waiting for someone who knew how to open it. Now the lights were colder, harder, glinting like so many accusing eyes.

He’d run for a while, escaping the fight and the police easily enough, but had taken extra steps to make sure no one was following him. It hadn’t been worth the risk to go back and get his bike. The rest of the attack team knew where he’d left it. He’d ditched the earpiece too: couldn’t be sure there wasn’t a tracker in it, and he didn’t need anybody yelling at him either.

Honestly he’d been lucky to make it out of there without incident. It was unnatural, almost eerie having to be this careful. Of course he was always precise, cautious when he needed to be, but this was different. He hadn’t had to drop everything and run in years.

He stared absently at the darkening sky, wondering if Miles was okay. 

No one seemed to care enough to try and track him, but he almost wished they had. Nobody to fight off meant no distractions.

_Hell,_ he could use a distraction right about now.

He slammed his fist down hard into the concrete, half hoping the pain would drag his mind off the track it was headed on.

How could he have been _so fucking blind?_

It all made terrible sense now.

_Your own fucking apartment? How much of an idiot are you?_

Another, worse thought came. _He trusted you. He came to you for help._

Then what had he done? Attacked the poor kid, chased him down without a second thought, and then-

He closed his eyes, his whole body going tense as he tried to force himself to stop. This guilt was burying him like an avalanche, and he didn’t know which way was up. Trying to claw his way out only dug him deeper. He always blocked out thoughts like these, was always _able to._

He pushed away the voice that said _you didn’t know,_ the voice he usually listened to. Now he could see just how delusional it was.

_You thought you could keep your lives separate._

_You thought you could do both._

_You thought you were strong enough._

_You thought._

He’d worked so hard to prove himself, damn it! He wanted nothing more than to be someone his nephew could run to. It was what he’d never had as a kid, someone he could talk to about anything, someone he could trust with anything.

He’d even managed to do it until now.

Shattering all of that was Miles’ terrified face, the eyes that had always looked to him with love and trust and admiration. All that was gone, replaced only by fear. Hopelessness. Betrayal.

After he’d pushed his brother away, Miles had been a second chance for him. The only good thing left in his life. A tiny glowing light in the darkness he’d surrounded himself with, and it had been enough.

He’d let that light go out.

The wind picked up, tugging at his cape as the darkness closed in on him. He shuddered.

The sudden chill brought another sadistic voice with it.

_What if Miles hadn’t taken off his mask?_

That thought made him colder than the wind ever could, fracturing what little strength he had left. He curled his shaking hands into fists. _Is this what I am?_

He huddled into himself, hating himself for being this helpless. He wanted to run, to somehow hide from this world-shattering failure.

Even as he thought it, he knew there was no escaping this. It was already over. He had cut his last lifeline and now he was falling, plummeting through the emptiness he had created with no end in sight.

He shifted his gaze down from the skyline to the street directly below him.

The wind whipped at him again, and this time he didn’t resist, instead swaying with it as he closed his eyes, wondering just how easy it would be to let it carry him over the edge.

Through a heavy fog he accessed the control panel on his wrist and cut the power to his boots. The violet glow, bright in the low light, dimmed, then disappeared.

“Don’t do it.”

He flinched at a voice from behind, scrambling to spin around.

_...what?_

An older man, standing just outside an access door Aaron had assumed was unused. Though he looked a little nervous, he stood his ground instead of running the other way like Aaron expected.

They looked at each other in a weird stand-off for a moment. Aaron was struck with the sheer strangeness of it all. No one saw the Prowler in any circumstance and wanted to _talk to him._ It was by design. He was supposed to be intimidating.

Halfheartedly Aaron tried to think of an ulterior motive, any reason anyone would try something like this. He didn’t much care, though, more annoyed than anything that he’d let someone sneak up on him.

“I’ve seen it before,” the stranger continued, his voice soft enough that Aaron had to strain to hear him. “Everything catches up to you eventually, huh?”

The raw sympathy in his voice, the fact that he wasn’t condescending or judging or even scared, it hit Aaron like a train.

All he could do was stare as the man went on.

“It’s hard. Believe me, I know.” He paused and looked directly at Aaron, like he was seeing past the mask straight through to the part of Aaron that was still just a human in need of compassion. “But there’s still hope. There’s always hope. It’ll be difficult, but you can work through this.”

Aaron still just stared, fascinated by the conviction in this total stranger’s words. It sounded like he truly believed what he was saying.

The man stood there for a few moments, probably wondering whether Aaron was going to say anything. Then he held up a hand in a gesture of resignation. “Okay, I’ll leave now, but only if you promise you won’t jump.”

Aaron blinked, only vaguely registering that he was expected to respond.

The man waited a few seconds, then smiled, a little sadly. “Fine, I won’t make you promise. I really hope you won’t, though.”

Just like that, he turned and went back the way he came.

Aaron sat down, floored by just how bizarre that interaction was. That someone would actually care, enough to risk his own life and safety just to try to save _the Prowler,_ when Aaron had done nothing for him? He tried and failed to make sense of it.

He’d always thought nobody cared. It was a big part of his rationalization for doing what he did. No one gave a fuck about him, so why should he give a fuck about anyone else?

Had he been _wrong_ this whole time?

He shook his head to clear it. Too much to think about right now. Later.

He looked down at his boots, still dark. He could still do it, take the easy path, but it was less appealing now that he really thought about it.

Miles was soft-hearted enough that it would still tear him up if he heard about it. Honestly, he’d probably blame himself.

_No_ , he thought, switching the power back on, watching the purple light grow brighter. He couldn’t do that to his nephew. The poor kid had been through enough already.

Somehow he knew Miles would go through with this. He’d somehow gotten involved with these spider-people and their near-impossible goal, might even have _powers_ , and that meant he’d gotten involved with the risk, too. Aaron knew the kid, knew that when he set his mind on something, nothing would stop him. Miles would throw himself straight at any danger if he thought it was the right thing to do.

After seeing firsthand his nephew running for his life, almost getting killed, it didn’t matter if Aaron was the one who did it to him. He couldn’t stand by feeling sorry for himself and let it happen again.

He drew a breath in, some of his old dedication returning. If anyone wanted to hurt Miles, they would have to go through him.

Fear flooded him as he realized what exactly that meant.

He couldn’t _go back._

Fisk would shoot him on sight, or do something even more horrible if he got the chance. Besides that, Aaron knew just enough about the collider to know how dangerous it was. That wasn’t even counting potentially having to fight off the other villains _and_ all the spider-people.

The stakes were too high, way too high.

And yet, he knew Miles would do it.

Miles would rush in headfirst, not caring about his own safety, scared but still doing what he knew was right.

Aaron almost smiled at that image. 

He’d never thought of the world in terms of right and wrong, dismissing that kind of thinking as archaic, not useful in the slightest. 

_How much of an idiot are you,_ he thought, almost fondly this time.

And somehow, something in his out-of-practice heart knew that going back was _right._

Lightning cracked across the sky as he swung his gaze back toward the skyline.

He had to be there for his nephew, even if it was for the last time.

He set his sights for Fisk Tower, yet another wave of fear breaking over him. He heaved another breath in and out, breathing through it, knowing he couldn’t live with himself if he backed out now.

This wasn’t like him. He was going against his better judgement, against common sense, against the nagging voice in him that kept saying _you aren’t ready to face it all._

In spite of it all, though, something wouldn’t let him run.

Another flash of lightning, illuminating the sky for a split second like the little flame that had been sparked in him.

Resolution surged through him, steadfast against every conflicting emotion as he kicked off the edge of the building, feeling the glass give way under the strength of his momentum, letting the world spin by in a blur.

He didn’t know if he was ready, but he damn well had to try.

He had a promise to keep.

**Author's Note:**

> Everybody needs a leap of faith :')
> 
> HUGE thank you to the legendary puppyblue for beta reading this! Seriously, guys, do yourself a favor and sub to puppyblue if you haven't already. Especially if you like this kind of thing, and if you made it this far, you probably do.
> 
> I hope you liked it. Angst is not my strong suit by any means but this idea would not leave me so here we are. Feel free to leave a comment telling me what you think!
> 
> I loved what they did with this character in the movie, but they really did him dirty by killing him off. His story wasn't finished. I hear a lot of people saying he's a good person, but he's really not. One good act does not constitute redemption. He has to work for it. Not giving him the chance to be responsible and deal with the consequences of his actions (beyond just dying) was really disappointing for me. He had the potential for good, but he never really got there.
> 
> But hey, that's what fanfiction is for! Chapter two might take me a bit because I'm still figuring some things out, but do not fret, I have every intention of finishing this as soon as possible.
> 
> Love you all! See you in the comments if you want to chat about character or story stuff or to let me know what you thought of this fic!


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